---

I thought you blamed me for your freedom
and I didn't understand why anyone should
be blamed for letting go of something, some-
one she clings to. your words seemed angry,
your tone was foreign.  I didn't know what
to do. still don't. so I do nothing treating
you like the rest of the gang admiring your
genius from afar, thankful that I know you,
write on the same page you do, that my
comments fall above or below yours, although
I prefer being on top. now I think you've
softened.  I don't know what happened
except that I screwed up and it was so
humiliating, I couldn't type the words 'I feel
so humiliated; like a fool'   I didn't deserve
to use those words as a catcher's mitt, a white
flag, but I'd like to say this, I'll never beg again,
never assume again, never take you for granted
again bursting into your emotions like a drunkard
cowboy into a saloon, but hell yeah, I'd love to fuck
and I can't help that and won't apologize. sorry.
you can't have everything your way.  

---

the moon is jaded, grey and lifeless
on a blue night, in shingles
shiny like new silver
cryptic like fresh chrome
futuristic, frightening

roam carelessly
under a moonlit sky
where there are no boundaries

grief hums a whistler off-key
and bounces
among hills and canyons
glaring like steel

your hands like tattered rope
gather me like broken glass

bondage kisses liberty

---

One wrong move and I will fall like the tomb I am.
There is always more.  Your face and hands
where I'm soft as doe eyes.  Your tongue arouses
and finishes with thunderbolts, only visiting my
wound, weaving to and fro, searching needy places
surrounding with solace, coming upon me, until the
the wound is healed.  Your nearness wounds me,
becomes yours.  You stir fury in me.  Words don't
flow from my mouth;  I speak with my eyes.  You
answer without remorse.  You know.  Your misery
draws me like a shell following the sea.  Decisions
are made from generosity like devoted animals.

---

---

There's a place full of dread
that fills up like a trashcan
the Big Kahuna for
empty pill bottles, torn pictures
old letters, shredded pay stubs
bills marked paid in full

It fills up and explodes
all over the room
I have to clean up the mess
but I can't think, can't
sit still or concentrate
long enough to get
the job done

Rummaging through
all the garbage for peace
I find strings and crumbs
of things that surely!
should've never been
thrown away

In a frantic search
I go through all
the junk again
looking for a
bankruptcy discharge
never found

---

---

Game of Love
by Santana
and Michelle Branch


Tell me just what you want me to be
One kiss and boom, you're the only one for me

So please tell me why
Don't you come around no more
'Cause right know I'm crying
Outside the door of your candy store

It just takes a little bit of this, a little bit of that
It started with a kiss, now we're up to bat
A little bit of laughs, a little bit of pain
I'm tellin' you, my babe, it's all in the game of love

This, whatever you make it to be
Sunshine will set on this cold lonely sea

So please baby, try
And use me for what I'm good for
It ain't sayin' goodbye
That's knockin' down the door of your candy store

You roll me, control me, console me, please hold me
You guide me, divide me into what
So please tell me
Why don't you come 'round no more
'Cause right now I'm dying
Outside the door of your lovin' store

It's all in the game of love
Let's play the game of love
Roll me, control me, please hold me
A little bit of this, a little bit of that

---

The Game of love - Santana feat. Michelle Branch

---

---

You are from the future.
I'm in the present.
We both know the future-future
like time travelers.

At a small candled-table over
Crab Rangoon, Yellow Tail Merlot
and cherry plums for desert,
we stare at each other,

one of our favorite pastimes,
     You look older tonight.
Instantly offended
my left eye cries.

My right eye blinks
attempting to force tears
as if it needs to cry too.
I've been depressed for weeks

feeling ancient and lonely
and you talk about how I look?
But I forgive you instantly.
After all, this is Redemption Post

where attraction never ends.
I will always like you.
It turns out to be a good thing
for me.  You have something

interesting to say,
     I'm sorry, didn't mean it
     to come out that way.
     What I mean is that you look as
     if you've learned something new.

     Have you?  
Of course, I have learned
something new about you.
I know better than to disclose

the truth.  You will become very
nervous, make a spectacular exit
and I'll sit crying.
To never become bitter

never hold a grudge
is a magical thing
and only occurs here,
but the price so very high.

---

---

Ok, fingers do your stuff.  Muse, mark your-
self remarkable and come out of that
box when I rub you the right direction.  
Maybe I'm not shining you just right. I've

tried Endust, so what's next? You know, I need
to write too. Whatever gifts you're giving
to those other peeps you need to bestow
on me. Maybe you're like the stiff-neck who

needs the right amount of syllables.  Hey,
I can do that too. Count, that is. Without
you turning yourself on, I'm as lost as
the dust mite on your right shoulder and the

flea that hangs from your nose. So, pity me
will ya? Pour yourself on these fingers. My
shoulders are beginning to sag from a
word recession, though thoughts roll like thunder

and feelings fight like ten hurricanes.  The
sun god has refused to shine on my mis-
behavior, and my bitter attitude
can't understand why she's not blown away.

---

---

Drawings -- GingerTyme aka Cherylanne
By Drew Johnson aka MisterCalm















(more later::not that it matters, really)

---

interesting light and line

silent lotus

Thank you lotus.  I don't know enough about drawing to know when the light or line is interesting.  All I know is when he makes me look pretty...or goofy, like a cartoon.  He draws cartoons for a living.  Works for Dell Comic Books.  I think it's cool when anyone gets to use artistic talent as a full-time job.  Most of us aren't that lucky.

cheryl

---

drawings, cont.















(painting by samarelArt)

---

---

 

(painting by JiminyPixit) 

---

---

 






(portrait by samarelArt)

 


(portrait by JiminyPixit)

 

I know why old women like to look at photo albums

---

dear Cheryl

a very interesting series of portraits

and it is indeed interesting to pose so naked for an artist

our soles leave so many impressions of our souls

Thank you lotus.  Who's that?  Is that you?

I think it's interesting how many different ways Drew paints/draws me.  All those drawings are over a 7 year period, approx.  He asks for pictures of me now, but I don't send any.  I feel too old.  The ones with dark hair are the oldest, about 2-3 years ago, I guess, and I was just lucky they turned out as well as they did.  With a little help from PhotoShop of course.  O my, I'm tellin' all my secrets, silent.  But really, who cares?

Thank you again,
cheryl