once again

it seems
i've allowed myself to become
the devil incarnate.

i always pictured myself
as a nice guy,
possibly even somewhat intelligent,
but, every now and then
i display a tendency toward
stupidity.

it showed itself again
the other day.

there i was,
minding my own business,
when a representative
from one of those
online poetry sites
approached me
and asked if i'd
be able to
help them out.

"it'll be fun," she said.
"we'll even
pay you nicely for it.
all you have to do is go online
every now and then
and read some poems
our people have posted,
then make some comments.
all we're looking for
is the truth.  honest opinions.
don't hold anything back,
just tell them
exactly what you think of their work.
i'll put the check in the mail today.
come on...
how soon can you start?"

it lasted four days.

i'm now banned from that site
and i think
it's even been recommended
that genteel society
avoid me at all costs.

it started out
innocently enough
and i honestly tried
to make it work...
giving faint praise
whenever i could
and silence whenever
i was backed into a corner
by something particularly awful.

it wasn't even
the horror of the poetry
that made me snap.
it was the members themselves...
the "poets,"
praising one another back and forth,
saying nice things
only to get the same nice things
said about their own
mindless crap.

there!  see!  it's
starting again!
i'm starting to go off!

then, the other night,
there it was - i never thought
i'd be the one who actually discovered it -
but there it was...

the worst poem ever written.

what made me nuts about it
wasn't the dactyls and iambs
and the overall stink of it -
it was the fact
that there were
15 comments posted...
each and every one
ending with "well done!" and "great!"
and "keep up the good work."

that's when i snapped.

i figured
since i'm the hired gun,
the guy being paid
to tell the truth,
the one brought in
to clean up Dodge,
it was my duty
and well-paid responsibility
to get in and set the record straight.

i'm told by those who read it
that it was a gloriously insane rant...
a thing of beauty...
that, among other things,
i threatened (twice)
to poke my eyes out with a stick
if i had to endure
stuff like that again.

the worst part of it all
was this poor person's friends
lying to her
again and again.

i just couldn't take it.

so, here i sit,
locked out.
hated.

banned.

a cloven-footed beast.

right now
i'm lying by the pool
on an impossibly sunny day.

i've got my notebook,
a pen
and a glass of lemonade.

Kathy opens the back door
and says, "the mail just came.
there's a check for you."

"just put it on the counter.
i'll get to it later.
i'm tired.

let's go
for a
swim."

John,

This needs to be the introductory piece for the 'Poetry Circle's Anthology'

larry

BTW: It's a lousy poem.

arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!  you cut me to the quick!
remove my membership!
this instant!
i'll have you taken out and shot!
dislike my golden memorable words!
the nerve!
my words are golden!
forever!
what gives you the right...
                      to have a mind of your own
                                     :)

You are WAY too rich. I'm thinking your response may now have to go in the Preface!

you keep promoting me any more, before i know it, i'll be posted behind the door in the third men's room stall down the hall!

oh...you are an AWFUL man.  How DARE you ;D  Shoot down a fellow poet?  What nerve!!!  Why, I have adored every single poem I've ever read...of COURSE I have. And all I write are perfect!!!  You are just terrible.  Are you sitting there acting ashamed? :D

mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!

lawrence;
     this cloven-footed beast very much appreciates you moving this poem to the editor's picks.  while the poem never really soars... for me, at least, it always seemed complete, and i really do appreciate the fact that you  saw what i was trying to say.
thank you.
john

Seems pretty complete to me, John.

Maggie

thanks, maggie!  it means a lot to me that you (especially) like and appreciate and understand this poem and the fact that you make your "art" out of what you've been given.

jay;
     i think Larry's serious about having this be an introduction to any anthology we might put out.  i'm certainly not opposed to the idea.  also, without overly twisting any arms, i really do feel that a print anthology would be a good thing all around...it would not only give some added gravitas (Holy Bill Clinton talking points!) to the site, but it would also give some concrete evidence of success and encouragement to some of our members who have published in print either very little or not at all.
     i know how you feel about the net...but there's something very real...very visceral...very (for lack of a better word) YAHOOOOOO!
about holding in your hands a copy of something you've written.
     

jay,

I don't know if you've caught this thread, but I think the idea of at least attempting to publish in the print media a collection of the site's work has value. There really is lot of talent and real sweat showing up here, quite unlike I've seen anywhere else--although there are more sites than I have bytes.

What are the obstacles?

larry

i just heard jay's on vacation.  i'll try writing him directly.
jy

John,
You are so right! If all we do is praise one another, we would be committing writers suicide! We need to be honest, praise what needs to be praised and tell it like it is when it needs working on. Otherwise, how will we grow as writers? I admit it hurts when rejected, but I am learning to take in a deep breath, realize that I was just helped out, and start working on the poetry again with a fresh view. Too many sites only allow us to say nice things to each other and we get caught up in a trap of saying nice things so others will say nice things back on their comments to us. Thanks for helping us with the truth. Sometimes the truth  hurts but it does set your writing free!
Nicole Alexander

Nicole;
     may i say in all honesty...you da man!
you GET IT!!!!!!!!
right now i'm sending you a great big handshake in thought....aw, shucks...make that a hug!
john