You refuse
to part with
one leaf,
brown and loud
as they are—

shake them
at us cold-rolled,
rubbery
rhododendron
underneath.

You want—what?
Proclaim—what?
Or are you taking out
an anger
blindly?

You must let go,
accept it's winter,
learn to be
evergreen
and bear the pain

or drop
the leaves
and ride it out
unhappy and
undressed.

You were
a princess
but your vanity
turned you
into a witch.

Tom, this is on the virtues of not going gracefully into that good night, I think, and a very well handled extended metaphor.

There's nothing wrong with the final stanza, but it could almost be dropped (or shed), couldn't it? (It actually sounds like the start of a completely different poem, and one I'd like to read as well.)

Cheers

David

Yes, David, thank you, it could be dropped. I have to think about where my loyalties lie here - to the metaphor (keep it) or the meaning (drop it) you mention.
Mainly, just feels good to crawl back to the genre that always feels like home base to me, nature poem.
--Tom

oh my.  this has been around for awhile, but i haven't seen it apparently.  good job in describing at least two things at once.  i love S5.  much hope for freedom and beauty in that one.

cheryl

thanks for the look, Cheryl. freedom and beauty sound good to me! tom

i just noticed the 'unhappy' in S5.  how funny.  i read it as happily undressed the first time around, as the tree had a second chance. 

but yikes now i'm wondering....

undressed just sounds so fun regarding freedom umm for a tree, ya know.  (shame on me)

sorry if i missed your point.
cheryl

hey, i'm just happy if you find "a" point, never mind "the" point!
I remember one of the kids' kindergarten teachers say how he raised his hand for every question. I said Does he know the answer? She said He knows an answer! chip off old block.

..moving from Workship to Submit board...