You thought he
was a genius,
I called him a dolt;
I deemed
her an exemplar,
not the cautionary
figure you lambasted.

You brought me
the pleasures
of disagreement
with a dear friend,
of those hot tempests
that might as well
be zephyrs.



new jars on spec series www.poetrycircle.com/index.php/topic,16199

Don't know who or what you're talking to or about in the first stanza but I like 'dolt' and other descriptions you're using.  Really like the S2 alot with the use of tempests and zephyrs.  Even 'hot' tempests sounds good, even though one might think you wouldn't need it.

cheryl

thanks, cheryl, good to see what you're seeing..tom

My God, it's 1:20 am.  Didn't know you had an eye open this early in the morning!

Tom, love this, so vivid.  Then I hit "fast friend" and bump.  Not sure why.  Perhaps fast simply jars with the ebb and flow that makes this relationship... or sounds dismissive.  Can't quite get my finger on it...

k

I do see what you mean, Kevin. I really wanted "close" there but it's too close to "those" -- "good" just isn't the right adjective for this -- changed it to "dear". Thanks, Tom

..moving to Submit from Workshop...

I like the mood of this a lot, BUT, the last two lines of the first stanza seem to be disjointed. Oh, hell, I can't really say what I mean. Damn neophyte, me.

FDH, we're not writing for highly trained experts! I'll take a look at those lines and see if there's something I can see that's making them read bad. Thanks, Tom

...moving from Workshop to Submit..

what I think is most interesting about this poem are the changes back and forth in the last 6 lines.  you give us the scene in the first verse.  in the last verse you snap the reader between pleasures and disagreement (which usually aren't), back to dear, then from tempest to zephyr.  excellent use of those words, especially the use of zephyr.

it's unclear what the heart of the relationship is, although one is left to feel it's zephyr-like, not tempest-like. 

poem also reveals your ability to accept others no matter what the issue.

in case you can't tell, I really like this.

cheryl

Cheryl and Silent, sorry for not seeing your posts earlier. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Silent, I'm glad you've followed the series.
Cheryl, glad this poem seems strong to you.
Tom