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  Early Spring
« on: February 06, 2010, 04:32:21 PM » by Jonathan Bracker
A wild plum tree just beyond the window
gives sway in the wind.
Yesterday a sparrowlike bird
with butter-yellow breast
travelled among the branches;
others like him visited last year.

Pink blossoms with red centers
and pointed brown-red leaves
are being tossed more violently now.

One or two weeks and, then, wild plums
which after a while sidewalk shoes will step on or avoid.
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To purchase a copy of my 73-pp. booklet of poems about Paris, Paris Sketches (Thorp Springs Press, 2005), send $15 and $1 for postage to Jonathan Bracker, 3783 20th St., #5, San Francisco, CA 94110.  A few copies are available on Amazon.  Sample poems from the collection are on www.parispoemsetc.com

  Re: Early Spring
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2010, 04:02:41 AM » by silent lotus
dear Jonathan

the setting & the tonality of the hue
is quite captivating

much enjoyed

silent lotus
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  Re: Early Spring
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2010, 12:00:46 PM » by Jonathan Bracker
Silent Lotus, your words are a great encouragement.  You liked some early poems I posted the other day, and I replied that perhaps I would post more of them.  They are often simple Nature poems.  But this one I wrote yesterday, thank to you.
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To purchase a copy of my 73-pp. booklet of poems about Paris, Paris Sketches (Thorp Springs Press, 2005), send $15 and $1 for postage to Jonathan Bracker, 3783 20th St., #5, San Francisco, CA 94110.  A few copies are available on Amazon.  Sample poems from the collection are on www.parispoemsetc.com

  Re: Early Spring
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2010, 02:28:46 PM » by David C. Man
Lovely picture of early Spring, Jonathan. For me, I'd finish on something other than the sidewalk shoes. I think that's a little anticlimactic, after the beautiful evocation of nature.

Maybe something a little more in nature's line?

Cheers

David
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  Re: Early Spring
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2010, 11:15:52 PM » by Rick Stansberger
The sadness of natural beauty that ends up underfoot, like the confetti lilacs become in may.  I think the sound of the poem lets down at the end, but not the image.

Rick
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Stark, Ohio, a book of story poems, is available from author, for $10, shipping free.  Email stansberger@hotmail.com  Avoid this book if you lack a sense of humor.

  Re: Early Spring
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2010, 12:22:54 PM » by cherylleveretteİ
I bet it was a sparrow, with a yellow breast, maybe bigger though.  Maybe a robin.  Jonathan, I think you do a great job with nature.  Unfortunately it's not one of my specialties.  Possibly don't appreciate it enough.  Like Thoreau, though.

cheryl
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"...I did not know what to say, my mouth had no way with names, my eyes were blind, and something started in my soul, fever or forgotten wings, and I made my own way, deciphering that fire, and I wrote the first faint line, faint, without substance, pure nonsense, pure wisdom...." ~ Pablo Neruda

  Re: Early Spring
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2010, 07:42:11 PM » by silent lotus

Silent Lotus, your words are a great encouragement.  You liked some early poems I posted the other day, and I replied that perhaps I would post more of them.  They are often simple Nature poems.  But this one I wrote yesterday, thank to you.


dear Jonathan

i'll keep a keen eye out for more of your nature offerings
my thanks to you for sharing.

smiles
silent lotus
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  Re: Early Spring
« Reply #7 on: February 08, 2010, 08:27:26 PM » by Mikael Heller
enjoyed this, but the last line seems slightly "clumsy"; rearrange it slightly and maybe substitute a word or two... if you like Smiley
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I am an enemy of symbols - Tarkovskij

 (Read 261 times) [1]
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