A tortoise
crawling
in a ditch

may not
be much

in the vast
scheme
of things

but she's
holding
her own

against
the rest
of it.

This almost made me cry when I read it.  I know (per Freud or someone) you're just talking about a turtle but I just finished whining to my mom about how bored I am, and because I'm bored I'm sluggish, and because I'm lackadaisical with two days off work, I'm overly instrospective (can you tell?  lol  ).  But I feel like this tortoise, and then you call her a 'her'.  Makes me kinda smile really.

This is a great poem about simple things, yet it says much more than you think.

sincerely (and on to my spinach souffle :( ),
cheryl

the stanza structure reinforces the slow pace of the reptile nicely, and you just got me thinking about that awfully-guilt-inducing-egg-shell sound in the night when I realise I've just pulverised a snail.  Snails have such fragile homes compared to this chap!  Enjoyed this

Thanks Cheryl. Glad she spoke to you.
Peter, thanks for your thoughts too. Made a couple edits as a result, beginning with "crawling" for "standing".
--Tom

..moving from Workshop to Submit board..

Liking

milner

Thanks for the look, Milner.
As often happens with PC readers, seeing your face and evoice, my visualizing your mind on the poem, immediately suggested improvements - to last S, in this case.
Tom

the three changes are good ones.  if you wanted to rid yourself of cliches (but not necessary for this poem I don't think) you could interchange 'scheme of things' with something turtle related.

cheryl

(something like pattern or design, maybe.  when I think of a tortoise that's what I first think of--besides slow--the pattern on the shell)

Thanks, Cheryl. In thinking about the expression "scheme of things", something appealsto me about having it sitting there plumply in the middle while the rest of the poem that explores it with knitting needles!
Though that "pattern" idea is definitely planted in my head. -Tom

This seems to me to be a very WCW format, which works well in this instance. I'm also getting echoes of D H Lawrence's animal poems as well, so there's two noble progenitors for you, Tom.

Cheers

David

Agree with David, Tom. This is a wonderful slug of a poem.

james

I like this Tom. For me, the last stanza seems to allow the tortoise to continue along in her trek well after the read. Nice.
JC

David, thank you for your associations. This WCW form is an indispensible one - how much did he invent it, scholars out there?
Lawrence's tortoise series is hard to read without wanting to pick up a pruning tool, at first, but then their blitheless bites me.

James and JC, thanks for looking in and for the encouragement.

Tom

World Class Wrestling ???

(just kiddin')

I'm far from a scholar and can not answer the role WCW played in "inventing" this "form"
but I do agree he is indispensable because:

too much depends
upon

the green delivery
truck

filled with drinking
water

beside the colonel
sanders.



(WCW, he's a favorite of mine)
JC

really liked it. My cup of tea this one.

Mikael, very glad to hear that. Thank you for the look. Tom

a lovely little piece with a very large picture! hope that tortoise keeps walking against all odds!

the fragile balance & how we tip the scales! an excellent write tom!

Rashmi, happy you've enjoyed and good to hear your voice here. Tom