as winter
thickens
so do

the wolves

silent
cedar dome
spy 

ripe
toughened
rump

forest's edge
and

the coming hunt

JL, good job.  You pulled off the repetiton well.

cheryl

Oh. That's the title the coming hunt above "as winter" I have a habit of putting it in the body of the poem as well. Sorry for the confusion--that IS the repetition to which you refer, right?

Hope you still like it :D

lovely writing, joe.
to me "the coming hunt" is the first line. if it is meant as title, you should remove it and just have title written once, no?
tom

To me it's "as winter". It is lovely writing. Took me into the snowy woods of Mitteleuropa.

Cheers

David

Yes I still like it.  I think I do agree with Tom.  Using that particular phrase only once might be a good idea.

Thanks for hoping my way,
cheryl

"the coming hunt" is fine as title and last line. an earlier version had a third iteration as first line too (or title typed again, couldn't tell). in any event, it's fixed now and reading great, I think. S3-4 a great balance of mystery and image.

Think this would be stronger if the 'wolf' were pluralised to 'wolves', with the necessary changes to suit. For me it would be more threatening. Like it much, Joseph.

milner

Thanks, Tom for having another look. Yes, as I said before, I have a nasty habit of putting the title in with the poem, so it appears to be a first line. I've got it corrected, now.

Milner, I like your thoughts and the pack agrees...'wolves' it is.

Joe, much enjoyed.... the finely detailed menace has a quality almost lyrical.... astonishing how much that wolf to wolves change has made, excellent ear, Milner.

k

to picks

Thanks, Tom. Much appreciated :D

ah, those wolves!  great pick.  great write.

ld

well done.  love the wolves
as well as the feelings of
intentions and anticipation
i experienced as the reader.

tiko

I like the idea of wolves thickening.  Works on both the pack level and the individual level.

Enjoyed; good write, good pick.
Marc