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« PoetryCircle • The Writing • Front page • Archive 2010 • Topic: Osprey »
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  Osprey
« on: May 04, 2010, 09:28:10 AM » by Ken Robson
I watched you scavenging today
for yesterday's dead bass
bobbing on the morning swell,
one milky eye fixed skyward.

Plucked from the river bed
you raised him up like Lazarus
and bore him off as if he lived
and you would kill again.

Teach me your sleight of hand.
I, too, would settle for the dead
if I could carry them to some high tree
and wake them there.
Logged

The craft of angling is catching fish. The art of angling is a
receptiveness to those connections, the art of letting one
thing lead to another until, if only locally and momentarily,
you realize some small completeness.

                                  Ted Leeson
  Re: Osprey
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2010, 10:19:11 AM » by Raven Marin
As opposed to waking them where?

-Raven
Logged

Not a chance
Whatever happened to fiery romance
Oh how I wish it was those dishes you were throwing
Damn you for being so easygoing
  Re: Osprey
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2010, 10:22:03 AM » by jamesthomashoward
A powerful piece, sir. I'm not sure that 'prayers unheard' deserves its own stanza, and it veers a bit towards a cliche for me; but that final image, a sort of upperworld instead of an underworld, is both haunting and delicious.

james
Logged

Cough.
  Re: Osprey
« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2010, 10:30:30 AM » by milner place
Strong, Ken. Agree with James that you could lose the 'prayer unheard'.

milner
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'Caminante, no hay camino,
se hace camino al andar'
- Antonio Machado

Latest book 'naked invitation' $15 or £10, p&p inc milnerplace@msn.com
  Re: Osprey
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2010, 10:34:35 AM » by Tom Riordan
...and the "instead"! Cheapens a great poem, Ken. S2 hits me upside the head, as do the first four words of last L. Tom
Quote from: Ken Robson on May 04, 2010, 09:28:10 AM
I watched you scavenging today
for yesterday's dead bass
bobbing on the morning swell,
one milky eye fixed skyward,

prayers unheard.

You were convincing--
raising him like Lazarus
to bear him off as if he lived
and you had killed again.

Teach me your sleight of hand.
I, too, would settle for the dead
if I could carry them to some high tree
and wake them there--instead.
Logged
  Re: Osprey
« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2010, 10:39:05 AM » by jamesthomashoward
Ah yes, meant to mention that 'instead'; agree with Tom. It's not a heavily rhymed poem, and the juxtaposition is inferred I think.
Logged

Cough.
  Re: Osprey
« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2010, 10:51:10 AM » by Ken Robson
James, Milner, Tom--I agree with you all! Thank you for the read and edits.

                                           Ken
Logged

The craft of angling is catching fish. The art of angling is a
receptiveness to those connections, the art of letting one
thing lead to another until, if only locally and momentarily,
you realize some small completeness.

                                  Ted Leeson
  Re: Osprey
« Reply #7 on: May 04, 2010, 10:55:51 AM » by Ken Robson
Quote the Raven, "no instead."

                    Thanks,

                           Ken
Logged

The craft of angling is catching fish. The art of angling is a
receptiveness to those connections, the art of letting one
thing lead to another until, if only locally and momentarily,
you realize some small completeness.

                                  Ted Leeson
  Re: Osprey
« Reply #8 on: May 04, 2010, 10:57:43 AM » by jamesthomashoward
Really strong read now, ken. It's like a surrealist advert for recycling.
Logged

Cough.
  Re: Osprey
« Reply #9 on: May 04, 2010, 10:58:13 AM » by Tom Riordan
Three fingers to lips!
Quote from: Ken Robson on May 04, 2010, 09:28:10 AM
I watched you scavenging today
for yesterday's dead bass
bobbing on the morning swell,
one milky eye fixed skyward.

You were convincing--
raising him like Lazarus
to bear him off as if he lived
and you had killed again.

Teach me your sleight of hand.
I, too, would settle for the dead
if I could carry them to some high tree
and wake them there.
Logged
  Re: Osprey
« Reply #10 on: May 04, 2010, 11:15:42 AM » by Tiko Lewis
enjoyed this, Ken. 
personally enjoy it much
more without S2.  not that
S2 is not good, but i like it
more going from S1 to S3.

again, enjoyed the write. 
wonderful ending for me!

thanks,

tiko
Logged

...i don't eat jelly beans afterward.
  Re: Osprey
« Reply #11 on: May 04, 2010, 12:04:14 PM » by Sue Lozynskyj
This very tight now Ken, Good write, and a pick for me.

Quote from: Ken Robson on May 04, 2010, 09:28:10 AM
I watched you scavenging today
for yesterday's dead bass
bobbing on the morning swell,
one milky eye fixed skyward.

Plucked from the river bed
you raised him up like Lazarus
and bore him off as if he lived
and you would kill again.

Teach me your sleight of hand.
I, too, would settle for the dead
if I could carry them to some high tree
and wake them there.
Logged

Chance favours the prepared mind: Louis Pasteur
  Re: Osprey
« Reply #12 on: May 04, 2010, 12:05:27 PM » by Ken Robson
James, Tom, Tiko


Thank you. Tiko, to me S2 seems integral
but you know me--slash and burn forever! I'll
think on it.

                 Ken
Logged

The craft of angling is catching fish. The art of angling is a
receptiveness to those connections, the art of letting one
thing lead to another until, if only locally and momentarily,
you realize some small completeness.

                                  Ted Leeson
  Re: Osprey
« Reply #13 on: May 04, 2010, 12:08:22 PM » by Ken Robson
Thanks Sue!

               Ken
Logged

The craft of angling is catching fish. The art of angling is a
receptiveness to those connections, the art of letting one
thing lead to another until, if only locally and momentarily,
you realize some small completeness.

                                  Ted Leeson
  Re: Osprey
« Reply #14 on: May 04, 2010, 12:09:22 PM » by milner place
And thanks, Ken, for the Lazarus bit - I got the poem just posted 'not a happy bunny' from that.

milner
Logged

'Caminante, no hay camino,
se hace camino al andar'
- Antonio Machado

Latest book 'naked invitation' $15 or £10, p&p inc milnerplace@msn.com
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