bitch kissing bitch
stitch
twisting
in a steely wrist
teeth and fingers
hitch and rip

this has zip, Aaron. taut words in taut form. Tom

Aaron,

This fun to read. The repetitive sound adds intensity and anxiety to it which I think is great. My only critique is that you should try to make it a bit longer to carry out the emotion more.

sign me up!
i like where this
goes.

thanks,

tiko

moving this up.
delightfully dark.

tiko

Many thanks!

It does have a certain something.
Gritty and sonorous.

Hmmm....rent a cop....do they do student discounts?

nice sounds
missing the human reality behind this one
why are they bitches
why are they kissing
why is there so much violence
why the lipstick
? ? ?
works more if we're talking dogfight
but then they don't wear lipstick