kimberly
out on the frosty old cold fields
serious as worship
for a sunday shepherd flocked by
white mists
rolling up the valley
seas adrift

an extremity of limestone
a belt of rocky ridges
cleaves open an erosion valley
north and south, between which
I see a lion ship

ghosts burning in industry on the hill
survey the factories
at 5am
on the old cold field

if they are heaving lungs of industry
I might well bow -
straining

the arriving stations so early imposes
a monday and an office
for a man transfixed in transcript
white shirt short shrift

white-topped worldviews
the usual
reserve

a land fresh as clean work-ware
stitched in Asian bruises
respiration illnesses

a thicket of mature facts now gather
and cover paper white
my old friends

a night so drained of force rolls down
the coast

Frau
you amble in my sleep
my healthy box
of disabled malice

husband has a cat and God
malignantly few
two valleys
keeping head
precipitously above the sea

Would a line break after L6 be workable, aaron?  to represent a full-stop?  I seem to get more clarity when I divide S1 at that point.

Much that I like in this piece.

yep.  good write.

also, could you replace cold
in white and cold for I felt it
distracts from the cold of the
field?

thanks,

tiko

Thanks for the suggestions - I have amended it as suggested. Regards Aaron